Joe the Crier

All eyes were on President Barack Obama as he enthusiastically strutted into the Capital, pumped and primed to deliver a rhetorically historic speech destined to change the face of Health Care in America forever. How ironic then that an unknown Republican from the same state as Mark Sanford would succeed in doing what the President had as yet been unable to do - rally besieged Democrats to form a mighty bulwark in a reinvigorated push for Health Care Reform. This game-changing moment - which Democrats described as running for a touchdown in the wrong direction - came when Rep Joe Wilson from the Palmetto State cried out "You lie!" at the top of his fool lungs, causing Obama to pause, mutter 'yo mama' under his breath, and give him a disapproving stare. The crowd broke out in wild applause. Wilson's soon-to-be-legendary boorishness so enraged Politicians on both sides of the aisle that before the evening was through he had been rechristened as 'Joe the Crier' by common consensus. "Yeah, that name has a bad connotation," growled Senator John McCain, "a real bad connotation". Obama's masterful rhetoric, combined with Joe the Crier's embarrassing display of sub-Palin petulance, all but insured the end of GOP efforts to halt Health Care legislation. "Right now I'd say that our efforts to end Health Care reform are dead," said Minority Leader John Boehner. "Dead as a doornail. Gunned down by Joe the Crier, a little man who doesn't even know how to Twitter."