lord of the flies replies

Reacting to reports that guards protecting the US embassy in Kabul "have been staging raucous, homoerotic parties where supervisors are subjecting their subordinates to abuse and sexual humiliation," leading to "a breakdown in the chain of command and compromised security," a spokesman from mercenary contractor ArmourGroup today called the charges "overblown politically correct bullshit spewed by the nanny-state mainstream media. And you're tellin me this from FOX News... which is pretty damn much considered by the guys on my team to be the nanny-state mainstream media." "Whadayagot, whadayagot," demanded Tor Johnson, station chief for the Kabul Embassy security forces. "Come on, FOX, ya big pussy, spell it out, tell us about your big bad 'climate of fear and coercion'. I asked you what you got. Now lemme see it before I have to break your camera." "Oh, what's this we got here? A letter from the Project on Government Oversight addressed to Hillary Clinton? POGO! Wah hee hee hee hee hee hee ho. Their fuckin name is POGO! You gotta be kiddin me, that's totally bogus. And they sent a letter to that skank Hillary? Get outta here, who does that broad think she is, Secretary of State or somethin?" Oh yeah? Well who died and made her president? As far as I know, Dick Cheney's still the guy in charge around here. This's all you got? You better be showin me somethin better than that, FOX, or Rupert Murdoch is gonna wake up one morning and find Hannity's head!" "Okay, what else? Email? Guy's tryin to show me a fuckin' email over here... Oh, it's from a guard, is it? Lemme see that... I said gimme the fuckin email... You bet that hurt, ya sorry snot. Now try to hold down the whimperin, I'm tryin to read over here... 'guards and supervisors are peeing on people... blah blah blah... eating potato chips out of butt cracks... blah blah blah... vodka shots out of butt cracks - there is video of that one... What the hell sort of a pervert shoots video of a bunch of guys drinkin vodka outta each others asses... What? This was written by Johanson. Yeah, Piggy Johanson, sick fuck. You're a dead man, Johanson, dead before dawn. And you FOX guys, what the hell is the matter with you, tryin to frame us with email from a pervert? Email from a dead pervert ain't gonna stand up in any court I know of. That it?" "Photos, huh? I love pictures. Lemme see one of those things... Hey, that's my buddy Lenny. Crazy sonofabitch. Heh heh, and there's Johanson, the pervert I was tellin you about earlier. Yeah. Lenny's makin fun of Johanson's Johnson, no reason for them to blank that little thing out. I guess you feel real stupid about now for callin us homoerotic, doncha FOX? We used to call that asshole Dinky Dick when we didn't call him Piggy. He'd answer to either name... So what's the matter, you don't think that's a funny picture? That's a funny picture... You know what else if funny about it? Piggy doesn't even have a beer in the picture, the sick fuck. You're a dead man, Johanson!"