Wednesday, November 18, 2009

positive spin

"...and right down there is where we'll be putting the new Ramada Inn. Twenty-four hundred rooms, each with it's own spectacular view. And up about three hundred yards, the world's largest 'Bed Bath & Beyond'."
"It is quite a view, President Jintao. And of course, I do appreciate anything that we can do to help with our trade imbalance."
"It's mutually beneficial, President Obama. Bed Bath & Beyond sells mostly Chinese merchandise, and once the Great Mall of China is complete, we expect the Ramada to be full year long with American tourists."
"I don't guess the Ramada will have free Wi-Fi, will it?"
"Absolutely not."
"Just asking... You know, one thing I had hoped we could make a little progress on is, mmm, China's currency rate. Some would call it China's artificially low currency exchange rate."
"Such a boring topic. Our rate is pegged to your dollar."
"Oh, believe me, I understand. But seeing as our dollar has been falling against most other currencies..."
"I know. But we love the American dollar. That's why we have so many of them! You know, a much more interesting topic of discussion might be America's unbelievably low interest rates."
"Not real happy with the interest you're receiving on all those American dollars, huh? Well, you know we've been having this recession, so my treasury guys want to keep it low to help stimulate the economy. So, sorry about our low rates of return."
"Sorry about our big trade surplus."
"Well, I guess we're kind of at a stalemate."
"True. We struck out on emission goals."
"Not a problem. Congress is never going to let me get anything passed on that anyway. But we did agree to cooperate."
"Which is a positive thing. And we did agree that a nuclear North Korea is not in our interest."
"Definitely not in our interest. And we agreed to talk more about Iran. Talking is good."
"Talking leads to cooperation. When it's in our national interest."
"Same with us, President Jintao. Oh, and don't forget, we agreed to formalize discussions on cooperative space efforts."
"It seems it has been quite a successful summit, President Obama. Shall we get together again next year?"
"Maybe in Washington. We'll talk about it."

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