Wednesday, December 2, 2009

john and joe weigh in


"He's coming and going at the same time!" squealed Senator Joe Lieberman, seemingly unaware of the fact that he was raising a motherfuckin' ruckus. "He's surging and ebbing! He's a hawk and a dove! He's black and he's white! For the life of me, I don't know whether to twist or shout."

Informed that shout was not an antonym for twist, the mouth of the Connecticut lawmaker was undeterred. "Obama bucked his own party! Just like me! You know, it takes a special sort of man to do put national security ahead of partisan political interest, believe you me. Not many of us have that sort of raw courage, so I just want to shout it from the rooftops - I support this president, and if I had it to do all over again, I'd campaign for him. Maybe I will next time, if he'll have me. I believe I can fly!"

"I remember when Joe used to talk about me like that," said former presidential fodder John McCain, seemingly a tad upset over his old buddy's enthusiasm. "He's a fickle little man with the heart of a teenage girl. I suppose it was only a matter of time before he fell under the spell of the dichotomous Barry Obama, considering Joe is a bit of a dichotomy himself. They say that opposites attract, but that's not true..."

"I was on Hannity's show last night, and as you might expect, right out of the gate Sean wanted to bash the president. Me, I'm not much of a president basher, at least when it comes to our military ventures. I mean, if I was president... Aw, forget it, it was never... Anyway, after I'm introduced, I tell him 'Emperor Hirohito never surrendered to General MacArthur, at least not on the Missouri', and Sean acted like he didn't know what I was talking about."

1 comment:

  1. Former Presidential Fodder has a nice ring to it.

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