Shah Khamenei

"This is beyond the pale," said disgusted Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, addressing the official Iranian press following the latest student riots. "We send these ungrateful young hooligans to our finest universities, and they appear to learn nothing at all. Allah willing, they will soon learn what a good beating feels like." Although the riots as usual are widespread, Ahmadinejad was particularly upset by the latest anti-government slogans, many of which called for the dismantling of the paramilitary Basenji and the death of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei, some going so far as to compare him to the hated Western Puppet, The Shah, a man who is held in even lower esteem than The Joker is in America. "When I look out at the streets of Tehran, and see these dissidents with their posters, photoshopped as I know they are, depicting our beloved Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei as The Shah, well, it fills my heart with shame," said Ahmadinejad. "The Shah, the accursed Shah, oh, that is far too much too bear. Hyperbole may at times be a useful device, but this sort of personal defilement of our beloved - and supreme - Khamenei, is enough to make me light a match underneath the buttocks of our loyal Basenji ad tell them to go and have at it. Bang a gong, right a wrong, get it on." Surprisingly, Ahmadinejad did not seem perturbed by The Basenji being compared to Hitler's Brown Shirts by the protestors. "All in all, it is not an unfair comparison," said a grinning Mahmoud, "Even though the Basenji primarily torment and terrorize reckless Iranian youth as opposed to hapless Jews. But make no mistake about it, given the opportunity, they would be more than happy to torment and terrorize the Jews as well."