Saturday, January 16, 2010

FBI releases 'aged' Osama pics

The FBI has released a new series of digitally aged mug shots of Osama bin Laden created by sophisticated forensic artists (i.e. photoshoppers) which show what the reclusive madman might look like today if he were not dead.

"These new images are powerful examples of how advances in technology and science can be used to help find and bring to justice wanted persons," explained Louis E. Grever, head of the FBI's Science and Technology Branch. "And in addition to the justice part, the guys in the lab think they're really a lot of fun to make."

"Okay, now the first one you see is no big woof, same old bin Laden, just a little grayer and older. But for the second one, we tried to think outside the box. What if bin Laden decided to throw away the headdress and get a nice haircut? And then he put on a clean white shirt and trimmed his beard to look like Ringo? I think this picture captures that look pretty well, much the way we hope to capture him."

"Now, people often ask me, 'Hey Louis, what if Osama was to go and shave off his beard completely'? Unlikely scenario, I always reply, because the FBI firmly believes that bin Laden has an enormous chin. See, it's not a good look for him at all, at least not in our artist's interpretation. But that's why we've got picture number four, because we think if he is alive and he has shaved, he's probably dressing in drag to distract attention from his chin."

5 comments:

  1. From ABCNews:
    -----------------------------------
    "Using sophisticated digital enhancement techniques, the FBI today published "aged progressed" mug shots of Osama bin Laden (...)
    The FBI and the State Department, which administers the international rewards program called Rewards for Justice, said the enhanced photos were created by forensic artists at the FBI's crime laboratory in Quantico, Virginia. (...)
    "These new images are powerful examples of how advances in technology and science can be used to help find and bring to justice wanted persons," said Louis E. Grever, the head of the FBI's Science and Technology Branch."
    http://www.rewardsforjustice.net/index.cfm?page=Bin_Laden&language=english"
    --------------------------------

    As you can see in their page there're some photos missing that yesterday where there. You may ask yourself why have they retired these photos.
    Well I'll tell you why, and this is something nobody knows in the USA but here in Spain is known by everyone. I hope this comment doesn't get censored, please let everyone in your country hear this:

    Their "ultranew technology" and "using sophisticated digital enhancement techniques created by forensic artists at the FBI's crime laboratory in Quantico, Virginia and powerful examples of how advances in technology and science can be used to help find and bring to justice wanted persons" bragging shit who all the readers in this newspaper and in general all the people from the USA is praising (lol) was just a simple photoshop with a photo of the year 2004 of one of the three most known politicians here in Spain, called Gaspar Llamazares who is the head of Izquierda Unida, photo wich can be found in Google and is one of the most famous ones of this politician. It was discovered yesterday by one of our most important newspapers here, called El Mundo. Gaspar Llamazares and countless organizations and newspapers have already contacted the amateurish FBI for their botched job saying it's not funny since this could have happened to everyone and they will be in a really dangerous situation if they travel to the USA and their paranoia (even could lost their lives)(some months ago a couple were arrested in an airport just because their surnames were uncommon lol), and since they are not as "important" as a recognized politician they would have troubles having the FBI recognize their errors, which even in this case I highly doubt they will ever recognize in public in your country. Probably if it wasn't for me and others you will never know everyone can become a victim of such "ultranew advanced forenistic supermegarevolutionary technology" which consists as I've already told you editing with photoshop photos found in google LOL.

    http://www.20minutos.es/noticia/607761/0/llamazares/bin/laden/
    http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2010/01/15/internacional/1263572681.html
    http://noticias.terra.es/2010/mundo/0115/actualidad/bin-laden-llamazares-fbi-retrato.aspx
    http://meneame.net/story/osama-bin-llamazares

    http://i45.tinypic.com/2ylvjvn.jpg

    As seen here everything I have said is true and the FBI is just pathetic.
    bye

    Ah I forgot to tell you the FBI also used his hair to recreate another terrorist. Yeah, two times dumb.
    http://www.elmundo.es/elmundo/2010/01/16/internacional/1263662696.html

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Fuck me, that is some AWESOME hair!
    Gaspar hair!
    I can see why some minimum-wage FBI slob artist borrowed it off the hintertoobs. I'm going to use it myself on a photochop as soon as I can!

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'sophisticated forensic artists (i.e. photoshoppers)'

    HA! More like cube-bound hacks with a surfeit of free time on their hands and a penchant for mischievous assclownery, or assclownish mischief, if you prefer.

    ;>)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Jeebus, he looks like Blofeld in drag leaving the casino in Las Vegas when they kidnap Tiffany.

    http://www.thehollywoodprojects.com/uploaded_images/Blofeld-772773.png

    ReplyDelete