Tuesday, January 5, 2010


"And now, Your Excellency, I shall power up my MacBook. As Supreme Leader, I thought you should be one of the first people to hear all of the exciting details about our new pipeline deal with Turkmenistan. I just returned from my meeting with President Berdymukhamedov late last night, and... Ha ha, you are correct, as well as funny, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov is quite a mouthful... If Sean Hannity has trouble pronouncing my name, I'll bet he prays that old Garbanguly is never in the news. Sean Hannity? He is a member of the American punditocracy, Your Excellency. He would remind you a lot of me, except not as clever or good looking."

"Anyway, as I was saying, this is a very exciting deal for Iran. This pipeline will mean an additional 12 billion cubic meters of natural gas per year, and... hold on, I've got all the details on my web site, let me just type it in, and... now, hit enter... huh, it's a little slow today... What's this? Where's my smiling picture? Oooh, my webmaster is going to get an earful, believe me... I don't know, Your Excellency, we seem to have been redirected... It's a bit technical, but it basically means we are not where we should be. There is nothing but a white screen and a short message."

"Uh... it says 'Dear God, In 2009 you took my favorite singer - Michael Jackson, my favorite actress - Farrah Fawcett, my...' Farrah Fawcett? She was probably before your time, a very brazen woman with golden locks of hair. Let's see... 'my favorite actor - Patrick Swayze'... No, sorry Your Excellency, I can't help you with that one... and 'my favorite voice - Neda'."

"Yes, Your Excellency, I fear that you are correct in your assumption that this refers to Neda Agha-Soltan, and... Yes indeed I agree that those words are traitorous, and... It's not my fault, I've been hacked! Just because it's on my site doesn't mean I wrote it!... Okay, Your Excellency, I'll have my web site shut down immediately... Okay, okay, just as soon as I finish reading this message for you... 'Please, please, don’t forget my favorite politician – Ahmadinejad and my favorite dictator – Khamenei in the year 2010. Thank you.' Uh... I think that... That is much the same way I would interpret it... My sincerest apologies... But on the main topic, wasn't that great news about the pipeline?... Yes, Your Excellency, I'll have the Revolutionary Guard arrest my webmaster just as soon as I finish with him."


  1. Yet another reason to be a PC?

    On another topic, I don't see a link to Katy's Stain in your blogroll; apparently she's back posting and still funny.

    Hope this doesn't raise the spectre of some conflict that I had missed and now blithely resurrect.

  2. heydave, thanks! She's one of my favorites, so I'm glad to hear it.