Thursday, February 11, 2010

John Brennan, one step ahead

GOP attacks continue on President Obama's handling of terrorism, with the focus turning sharply towards Counter Terrorism Adviser John Brennan, who is accused by Top Republicans of insufficiently briefing them on the attempted Christmas Day bombing of a Detroit bound aircraft. Although Senators McConnell and Bond, along with Representatives Boehner and Hoekstra were all updated on Christmas evening, and offered Brennan no questions, in retrospect they now find his information sadly lacking.

Following an editorial by Brennan which warned Republicans against trying to score political points off of terrorism, Senator Kit Bond has accuse Brennan of turning into a partisan hack and called on Obama to fire him. Congressman Hoekstra says that he has lost all faith in Brennan, and vowed to tape all future calls from him so that Brennan will never again be able to use his own words against him.

"Now we know how this guy works," Hoekstra told Politico. "We’ll take notes, have transcribers. Make sure that this guy doesn’t have the opportunity in the future to come back and misrepresent what was said." Hoekstra emphasized that if he has to speak to Brennan in the future "I’ll be taping the conversation, with his permission. ... I’m not going to get caught in this again."

Contacted for his reaction, Brennan said "that's a real good idea, and quite frankly, I'm surprised he doesn't already do it. I know I tape all my high-level calls. As a matter of fact, here's a recording I made of my conversation with Hoekstra."

"Good evening, Congressman Hoekstra. This is John Brennan... Sorry I have to disturb you at home, but I..."

"John who? Who are you?"

"John Brennan, the president's counter-terrorism adviser. Sorry to call you at this hour, but I needed to update you..."

"Preshudent who? Never mine, I think I know. It's Chrishmus..."

"Yes sir, Merry Christmas. I'm calling about the attempted terrorist..."

"Hole on, I shpilled my drink... Diane! I need another Sheven an Sheven... I... Hello?"

"I'm here, Mr Hoekstra. I needed to brief you on the attempted bombing..."

"Do you know wha time it ish? It's Chrishmus..."

"Yes sir, and I know it's late, so I'll try and be brief..."

"Your brief ish gonna be brief? Heh heh. You're a funny man."

"Sir, as the ranking Republican on the House Intelligence Committee, you need to be informed of the latest information about Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab..."

"Uma tuma talla what? What the hell are you talkin about?"

"The would-be terrorist, sir, who was taken into custody in Detroit this morning."

"The unnerwear bomber? Bwahahaha ha ha... Shit! I shpilled my drink... Diane! I need another Sheven an Sheven... Exploding unnerpants, thash funny..."

"Well, the important thing for you to be aware of is that Abdulmutallab has been placed in FBI custody, and he is talking and cooperating."

"That wush a brief brief about briefs, Brennan."

"Yes sir. Did you have any questions?"

"Yesh... Do you know wha time it ish?"

Asked to respond to Brennan's recording, Hoekstra replied angrily. "You call that a briefing? The man wouldn't even give me the time of day."


  1. I love the fact that Now Hoekstra will take notes. Yeah, when you get a call from the counter-terrorism guru on Christmas night, you might want to jot a few things down.

  2. Inquiring minds want to know: which hand will he write upon?