Sarah now unstoppable

Within hours of delivering the best speech ever given, it has become apparent that Sarah Palin has effectively secured the Republican nomination for the presidency. Her Tea Party speech was regarded as such an important event that not only was it seen on FOX News, but also CNN, which had nothing better to do anyway, and MSNBC, which pre-empted a very special episode of 'Lockup'. The morning after the wondrous speech - which was so powerful that grown men wept and liberals felt the scales fall away from their eyes - Palin appeared on FOX News Sunday to say it would be 'absurd not to consider running' for president in 2012. "Absurd is the operative word here," agreed host Chris Wallace. "It would be completely absurd for you not to run, and it would be even more absurd to think that anyone could give you any real competition whatsoever. I mean, who's going to challenge you, friggin Mitt Romney?" "That Wallace character has sure got me pegged," said friggin Mitt Romney. "Sarah would beat me like a red-headed step child if I ran against her. Of course I'd enjoy every minute of it, but the real question is why I would want to stand in the way of someone with such proven ability to transform our nation. It's my patriotic duty to stay on the sidelines and help her win." "Well, I'm staying in the race," Tim Pawlenty said Monday morning on CNN. "But let me just make it clear that I'm not in it to win it. The Republican Party just needs to have somebody else available in case Sarah gets in a tragic snowmobile accident or changes her mind, God forbid."