Saturday, April 24, 2010

Princess Madeline available again

From the Swedish Royal Court comes the very sad news that Princess Madeleine Thérèse Amelie Josephine Gustaf has broken off her engagement to Jonas Bergstrom, an event that has all of Stockholm atwitter. The fabulously wealthy Princess Madeline is third in line to the Swedish throne, while Bergstrom is nobody really. The Royal Court would not comment on the cause of the breakup, saying only that the couple had decide that the best for them is to go their separate ways. Princess Madeline, however was not so reluctant to speak.

"Best for us to go our separate ways? That's a bit of an understatement, I'd say. Honestly, I don't know what I was thinking about with that boy. Like I was talking to my best friend Debbie, and she say 'you're too young to settle down, Princess, young and beautiful and fabulously wealthy. We should cruise to America and follow Springsteen around'. And I said 'Debbie, I don't even like Springsteen, you're the one who likes Springsteen'. But the other stuff I totally agree with."

"I know my father is really happy about this. He was worried about me marrying below my station, which would have been a real embarrassment if I ever became Queen. Fat chance of that ever happening unless my brother and sister end up killing each other, but I know where Daddy is coming from. I'm a beautiful young princess, the Dutchess of Hälsingland and Gästrikland, and Jonas is just a lawyer. An associate lawyer. I don't even know what that is, but I think it involves a lot of television, because all he ever wants to talk about is what happened on 'Judge Judy' or what happened on 'Divorce Court'. And I totally do not care."

"But I guess the final straw was my birthday. Jonas gave me this enormous hat - you can't take your eyes off of it, can you - and he kept nagging me to wear it. So I finally did one night, and walked into the bedroom to surprise him, and wouldn't you know, I catch him trying on my tiara. I've warned him a million times not to fool with my stuff."

"So anyway, I guess that it's the end of the line with Jonas, but I'm not particularly upset. Someday my prince will come, and daddy really would prefer to see me marry royalty."


  1. That chick has a serious rack dude.

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  3. What can I say?
    Make me write bad checks!"

    And hey, even if she is terminally stupid when she opens her mouth, it'll come out in Swedish! Fuckin'A!

    Oops, that last bit of enthusiasm prolly stuck me right back in the proletariat horde, no?

  4. Huh? Whuh? All I know is that I can't take my eyes off that hat.

  5. Uppsala

    Cue "kill da wabbit"