hot off the presses

"Let's see... Newsweek, Popular Mechanics, American Girl, and... what's this, Inspire... huh, we must have just gotten this in... 'Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom'... That certainly sounds interesting, I'll have to..." "Just bag it up, please, my flight leaves in ten minutes." "Certainly young sir, I just have to find the price and..." "Right there in the corner." "Well I can see that, young man, but I'm looking for the American price. Maybe it's on the inside cover. Oh... 'How to Save the World' by Osama bin Laden. Say, isn't he that guy who..." "I have no idea who he is. Please, I'm in a hurry." "As are we all. Now if you'll just bear with me a moment... Sally, do you know how much 18 riyals is? 18 riyals. No, not royals, riyals. This young gentleman is buying a copy of Inspire magazine and the only price I can find is in riyals. Inspire, yes, it's some sort of new political magazine, I suppose. Or maybe a fashion magazine, I can't really tell. 'The West Should Ban the Niqab Covering It's Real Face'. Check the inventory, would you Sally. It's from al-Malahem Media." "Look, I really am in a hurry. I believe that 18 riyals is around five dollars. I'll give you six and we'll call it even." "No sir, I'm afraid I can't go around willy-nilly allowing customers to name their own price. The fact is that I can't sell this magazine until I..." "Nik nefsik. May the fleas of a thousand camels take up residence in your mother's drawers." "I don't have to take that sort of abuse from a customer. I've got half a mind to call security and... Hey, come back here with those magazines... Security! Security! Oh look, he ran off without his wallet. Won't be going far without that... Some of the nuts you see at the airport, a grown man slinking around and buying American Girl magazine. Seemed to me like he was way too young to even have a daughter..."