Friday, August 6, 2010

ready, set, dial

John Boehner isn't the only one who is upset by Nancy Pelosi's decision to call the House back from recess for a special session. Of course not. As Michele Bachmann notes, "We were on a six week hiatus, and members had scattered to the four corners of the Earth." Which is entirely true, assuming the Earth is a rectangular two dimensional object, a belief many of Bachmann's supporters share. As FOX News points out, "Getting them all back to Washington is an operational nightmare," presumably because many of those corners are in such remote locations that the chances of finding an airport will be a logistical quagmire.

But aside from the hardship, why wouldn't Michele be upset about the special vote? As Michele writes at BigGovernment, this is a vote to spend taxpayer money "fully funding the union political action coffers and making sure the left’s political 'volunteers' get the message to get out the Democrat vote." It's important to put the quotes around the word volunteers, because these union thugs are in fact the same 're-educated' zombies only recently released from the FEMA concentration camps everyone was talking about just last year, the ones you've probably already forgotten about if you were stupid enough to install one of those brainwahing digital TV converters that the Obama regime forced upon an unwitting American public.

In spite of all this, Bachmann intends to make the difficult trip back to Washington, irregardless of the difficulty. Why would she risk it? To "get the word out on the gutsiest move of desperation yet seen on the part of the Speaker," of course. Which she intends to do by hold the largest tele-townhall ever, one in which she says she will call 1,000,000 people and ask them what they think about the "Cash for Democrat re-election Program". Can't you just imagine the earsplitting roar as they all respond in unison "Kill the bill!"

"I love Michele's innovative way of thinking," says Congressman Pete Sessions. "The best thing about it is the incivility - she's planning to start it at 7:00 PM, right when Pelosi is supposed to hit the floor. That's so rude! Talk about pulling a fast one... Michelle is awesome. I do have one little suggestion, however, if I may be so bold. With most tele-conferences, you have the people call you, not vice versa. Her dialing finger is going to get awfully sore."

"That's sweet of Steve to be concerned," said Bachmann, "but I'm not personally going to call a million people. That would probably be impossible in the time allotted. There will be ten of us who each call ten people, who in turn call ten people who each call another ten people... um, let's see, that's not enough... and each one of those people calls ten people who call another ten people. According to my calculator that should do it. No, wait, that's a million people just on the last call, give me a second... I'm going to call 1,111,110 people! This is huge!"

"Hogwash," the sinister Pelosi said upon hearing about the plan. "If she starts at 7:00, it's going to take at least an hour for her to get that many people on the phone, and by then I'm going to be finished and off the floor. I'll never have to hear the outraged concerns from a ragtag bunch of concerned citizens after the message goes out via the digital TV converters, and the Cash for Democrat re-election Program can move forward unhindered."

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