Tuesday, September 14, 2010

from Sarah's FaceBook: KRAUTHAMMER - RINO OR SWINEO???

I AM SO MAD THAT I FEEL LIKE WRITING IN ALL CAPITOL LETTERS CAUSE THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE YELLING AND I’M YELLING AT YOU, CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER!!!! The only problem is that it gets real tiring holding down the shift key with one hand and then doing all the typing with the other, like the word capitol I have to hold down the shift key with my right hand to type the C and A, and then switch over to my left hand to type the P and I, then back to the right for the T then left for the O and L. Somebody should invent a keyboard with eight rows on the right side and just a shift key on the left. And get rid of some of those other keys too, like the ones that don’t work. I tried to type F2 the other day and my laptop just went crazy.

Anyway, who does this Krauthammer think he is, calling me disruptive and capricious? I thought capricious was just a made up word cause you know how Krauthammer likes to try and act so smart like a professor or something, but I looked it up and it said ‘governed or characterized by caprice’ so I still didn’t know what it meant. Like I’m supposed to look up two different words??? Don’t you send me on a wild goose chase Krauthammer, cause this is one mama grizzly that’s not going to bite. So I called Debbie instead and she told me that caprice meant an impulsive and unmotivated action. And I said ‘Debbie, what do you mean I’m governed by an impulsive and unmotivated action’ and she said ‘Jeez, Sarah, don’t yell at me. Krauthammer’s the one who said it. And that’s fair enough, cause the Bible says you’re not supposed to blame the bearer of bad news, you’re supposed to blame the utterer of bad news. Which is Krauthammer.

And then do you know what he said next? I don’t remember exactly but it was something about me being self-indulgent just because I endorsed the one true conservative in Delaware and he topped that off by saying that he wasn’t being sexist. Nobody accused you of being a sexist Krauthammer so you must have a guilty conscience. That’s how I came up with my first line, KRAUTHAMMER – RINO or SWINEO. Swineo is one of my made up words that everybody likes so well cause they know exactly what I mean, plus it rhymes.

You might think that Krauthammer would have stopped right there, but I guess he figured that since he was already off my Christmas card list he might as well go on and make a complete fool of himself by lecturing a ‘political novice’ like me on how to run a campaign. The man seems completely unaware of the fact that I’ve changed the rules. He’s just clueless and I don’t know why FOX continues to keep him on the air except for the fact that they always want to have a token liberal so they can be fair and balanced.

But I've got to tell you this, cause it's so funny. Professor Krauthammer is so full of himself that he decides to finish up his little lecture by giving me a history lesson. "Sarah," he says, "Delaware is not Alaska." As if! But I'll just betcha they'd love to be. You cut fit a hundred Delawares in one Alaska. Alaska is full of mountains and snowmobiles and oil and fishing and caribou and real men, but Delaware is just full of O'Biden. And Krauthammer is full of Delaware.