"I can't believe I'm a senator!"

Even though her excitement was somewhat diminished by the discovery that her official coronation was still a few weeks away, Christine O'Donnell wasted no time today in strengthening her populist appeal by bashing Karl Rove. "Everything that he is saying is unfactual," she told George Stephanopoulos on Good Morning America, showing off some of the fancy campaign linguistics that she learned from Sarah Palin. "It's a shame because he is the same so-called political guru that predicted I wasn't going to win. And we won and we won big. So I think, again, he is eating some humble pie and he is just trying to restore his reputation." "I'm pleasantly surprised by your astute analysis," said the clearly impressed Stephanopoulos. "I mean, pretty much everything that comes out of Karl Roves mouth is an outright lie or distortion. I don't know if the so-called political guru is actually eating humble pie, but if I Turd Blossom Rove, I'm sure that he's eating some kind of pie." "It's coconut cream, and it's delicious," responded Rove, who was appearing live on video. "Bet you wish you had some for your ugly pie hole, you fruitcake. You know, I was really hoping that the GOP could take the Senate, but forget it, that idea is kaput now. Let me ask you something, lady - Why did you mislead voters about your college education? How come it took nearly two decades to pay your college bills so you could get your college degree? How did you make a living? Why did you sue a well-known conservative think tank." "Oh, isn't that cute, coming from a man shaped like a potato," giggled O'Donnell. "What makes you believe your think tank was well known?" "Really, Christine," Stephanopoulos wondered, "How could Rove describe any of his projects as a think tank?"  "I think he was tanked," shot back O'Donnell. "Are you two about finished having fun at my expense?" grumbled Rove, laying down his fork. "I'm going to warn everyone in Delaware not to vote for you." "Yippee!" squealed O'Donnell. "My bridge to victory!"