Somewhere, Ferdinand Marcos is smiling

You know, there's a right way and a wrong way to sing 'Lupang Hinirang' and it's about time the people of the Philippines learned that lesson once and for all. The right way to sing it is to a marching cadence of 100 to 120 beats per minute, the way that composer Julian Felipe intended it to be sung. Don't be trying to jazz it up with your own personal touches like that son of a bitch Arnel Pineda or those flashy whores in La Diva. Because the next time we see a performance like the one given by that bozo Martin Nievera, somebody is going to find their ass in the cooler. Just in the nick of time, it seems, the Philippines House of Representative has passed a bill criminalizing this sort of behavior by the sort of deviants who think it might be a real cool idea to put their own spin on the national anthem. Yeah, punk, try that again and you're looking at two years in the big house as well as a P100,000 fine, which is a lot of P indeed. And one more thing, when you go to the movies and they play Lupang Hinirang, you better stand up with fervor as a sign of respect, because the ushers are going to be calling the cops to report any slackers, and they will be authorized to aid in citizens' arrest.