| "You feeling okay, Boss? Cause you're looking just a wee bit deranged." |
"This is my happy face, Joe. You can't imagine how glad I am to get these elections over with. You know, I'm pretty good at the campaigning but it gets old real quick. Now I can finally lay off of that tired old car in the ditch story."
"And I can lay off of the unrealistic predictions. I do feel a little relieved to see it done with. I just wish things hadn't turned out so badly for you, Boss. Jeez, what a massacre."
"Come on, Joe, it's not all that bad. Axlerod predicted we'd lose forty-six seats in the House."
"Not that bad? We lost a lot more than that!"
"I know, I bet him a hundred bucks that we'd lose at least sixty. In yo face, Ax! The kid shoots, the kid scores!"
"Well, I'm glad you're taking this all so well..."
"Don't be so gloomy, Joe, nobody likes a dour Vice President. Remember Cheney? That's what I'm talking about. This is a great opportunity for us. Nothing the American people like more than a gracious loser."
"That's not true! The American people like winners."
"Let's not make any rash generalizations, Joe. Some of the American people like winners. And besides, we are winners. I won the last thing I ran for, didn't you?"
"I guess so..."
"I know so... Tiger Woods doesn't stop being a winner just because he has a few rough months. You know what else the American people like. They like rooting for the underdog. That's us, Joe, we're the underdog now. We can't lose."
"You're a very weird president..."
"Really? How many presidents have you known, anyway?"
"Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush... That would be seven, counting you. And you're definitely the weirdest."
"Can't help it, Joe. I guess it's part of my Kenyan heritage. Hey, wanna run by Mitch McConnell's office with me? I'll treat you to lunch at Ray's Hell Burger afterward."
"I don't know, Boss. I don't really feel like listening to him gloat about his seat pick-ups."
"Oh, I doubt he'll be gloating, Joe. McConnell bet me a hundred bucks they would take back the Senate. In yo face, Mitch! The kid shoots, the kid scores!"
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