Monday, November 8, 2010

Bernanke desists

Federal Reserve head Ben Bernanke has abruptly both ceased and desisted his pump priming after pointedly being told to do so by leading economic expert Sarah Palin. He had foolishly been planning on buying $600 billion dollars worth of Treasurys with money that he intended to print out of thin air, but Palin's cease and desist order convinced him that he shouldn't be playing around with inflation.
"I don't know what was going through my head," said the startled Fed Chair. "You get such a feeling of power when you're in a position like mine that after a while six-hundred billion dollars doesn't seem like anything to sweat about, but the truth is that it's real money. And like Ms Palin said, we don’t want temporary, artificial economic growth bought at the expense of permanently higher inflation which will erode the value of our incomes and our savings. Well I kind of do, since that also erodes the cost of our debt, but that's just me."
"I guess I thought I could get away with it by using a fancy-pants term like 'quantitative easing' that nobody would understand," Bernanke admitted. "Boy, was I ever wrong. Not only did Palin have it all sussed out, she even knew the technical term 'pecunia ex nihilo' which I like to use instead of saying that I'm pump priming by printing money out of thin air. It's like she's using Wikipedia or something."

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