Thursday, February 24, 2011


Now the situation in Libya all makes sense. After all, as Gaddafi made perfectly clear last night during a call to state TV, 'no sane person' would protest against his rule, which leaves only one possible explanation - young people all hopped up on drugs being manipulated by Osama bin Laden.
"Their ages are 17. They give them pills at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their drinks, their milk, their coffee, their Nescafe," he explained, and that really makes a lot of sense, because you give a seventeen year old a combination of bad coffee and mind-bending drugs and they're pretty damn sure to want to join al-Qaeda and overthrow anything in their path. "You people of Zawiyah, stop your children, take their weapons, bring them away from Bin Laden, the pills will kill them." And if the pills don't kill them, Muammar will.

And what kind of pills are these? You know, just in case any of us Westerners wanna get some... "These pills in Tripoli are called taxis of Al Jadeeda because when you take them, you will not wake up unless you reach Al Jadeeda. These young people do not realize that they have been killing because they are under the influence of the drugs."

But of course. And it wouldn't surprise me to find that the grizzled old strongman was riding in the taxi of Al Jadeeda himself. "I only have moral authority," he added. "I am like the Queen of England."