Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Shutdown Act

"...which is why I'm now introducing, and urging the House to pass, the Government Shutdown Prevention Act. Now what this bill does, it says that if the Senate does not pass a budget resolution by April 6th, then the one we passed will be the law of the land. In addition to that, it says if all else fails and the Senate brings about a shutdown then members should not get their pay."
"That's a really stupid bill, Eric."
"It is not, Boehner. It says that the Senate doesn't get paid. I doesn't say that we don't get paid."
"What you don't..."
"You just don't like it because you didn't propose it."
"We need..."
"God, you are one petty son of a bitch, Boehner. Everybody told me that I should challenge you for Speaker, but I was like, no, Boehner deserves the job."
"Eric. Remember when you first started in the House and they had that class on how a bill becomes law?"
"Yeah? What's your point?"
"Well, as you might recall, the Senate has to pass the bill as well, and then the President has to sign it."
"Don't talk down to me, Boehner. That's for budget bills and this is not a budget bill, it's a bill that says what happens if there isn't a budget bill."
"Eric? That isn't just for budget bills, it's for all bills."
"Oh yeah? What about when we voted on me for Majority Leader? The Senate didn't get to vote on that."
"That wasn't a bill, Eric. This is a bill, and if the Senate doesn't pass it also, it doesn't become a law... Eric?"
"So... Are you saying, for example, that the Health Care Act hasn't really been repealed?"
"No, I'm afraid it hasn't."
"Do all of the other member of the House know about this?"
"Not all of them, Eric, but quite a few understand how it works."
"Oh man, oh man... What about the voters? Do they know?"
"Some of them, Eric, but they're probably the ones who wouldn't vote for you anyway."
"And you're not just pulling my leg?"
"No, I'm really not much of a leg puller."
"Sorry for calling you a son of a bitch, Boehner."
"That's okay, Eric, I've been called worse. I'm sorry for calling your bill stupid. And you know what? I don't think it would hurt to put it up for a vote anyway. It makes it look like we're really trying to avoid a shutdown but still serious about budget cuts."
"Yeah... I guess it does. You know what? You really do deserve to be the Speaker."

1 comment:

  1. Eric Cantor-- the latest incarnation of the Kissinger fiend. Chandala...

    Bone-ner's just another water boy.