Wednesday, May 11, 2011

the viewing

"I'm talking now to Senator Joe Lieberman, who is going to be..."
"Hey, Megyn, funny story for you. I was talking a couple of days ago to President Zardari from Pakistan, and he told me he thought that you were the foxiest newsbabe in the business."
"That's it? That's the entire story?"
"Oh yeah, that's all. I thought you'd be amused because he said foxiest and you work at FOX."
"I see. Well, what I..."
"I would agree with him that you're the foxiest newsbabe on FOX, but if we were talking about the entire news business, I'd probably have to go with Tamron Hall on MSNBC."
"We wanted to talk to you about your decision to view the post-mortem photos of..."
"You know, it always makes me chuckle a little bit, that use of 'we'. Unless there's someone below the angle of the camera, I think it's just you. No disrespect intended."
"FOX News wanted to ask you about your decision to accept President Obama's offer to members of the Armed Services panel to view photographs of Osama bin Laden's body. Since you accepted, I assume that you must have held out at least the possibility that he wasn't really dead."
"Oh my goodness no, Megyn. That's a rather silly assumption on your part, no disrespect intended. You can't take a high powered shot to the brain like that and still expect to be alive."
"Then why are you opting to view the photographs?"
"It's a once in a lifetime offer, Megyn. I'm really lucky to be a member of the Armed Services panel where I can get this sort of opportunity."
"Senator Lieberman, every other member of the panel has declined or is expected to decline except for Representative Charles Ruppersberger."
"I don't know, either. That's why we're talking to you."
"There's that 'we' again. No disrespect intended."
"Even Senator McCain declined, saying that he's already seen enough dead people."
"I'll bet he has. Probably dispatched a lot of them to hell personally, bless his soul, but I haven't had the sort of opportunities in life that he has. You know, Megyn, they say that half bin Laden's skull is blown away, and you can see his brains leaking out. Oh, and since they shot him through the eye, there's supposed to be one big brown eye looking at you and I guess the other one is sitting on the floor or something."
"And you're interested in seeing something like that?"
"You bet I am. My wife and I have the box set of 'Faces of Death' on Blue Ray. I love those movies. 'Faces of Death V and VI' are kind of disappointing, though. Kind of a greatest hits from the other four volumes."
"Well, I guess all I can tell you is, uh, enjoy."
"Thanks, Megyn. Hey, I can come back again next week and fill you in on all the grizzly details."
"No thanks, Senator Lieberman, but I'll mention it to O'Reilly."

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