Friday, May 13, 2011

Zero dittos. No, not one.

"...and that's just a small example of the sort of perversion of the will of the American people that's practiced by Dirty Harry and the Senate Democrats 365 days a year. Now to the phones - we've got John from Arizona. Go ahead, caller."
"Mega dildos, Rush."
"Dittos, John, the word is dittos."
"Dittos? I don't even know what that means..."
"What's on your mind?"
"I've got kind of a problem, Rush. You see, a couple of years ago I was having an affair. It was..."
"That sort of thing does happen in the real world."
"It was kind of an impulsive thing, you know, it just sort of happened. The thing is, she was the wife of this guy who worked for me, and uh, I guess she worked for me too..."
"Ouch. John, you have my sympathy, a little of it at least, but I'm afraid you've called the wrong show. You might want to try Doctor Laura. We're talking about the devious overreach practiced by Senate Democrats."
"Really, Rush, I swear this is related."
"Please try and relate it swiftly or I'll have to move on to the next caller."
"Okay, okay. Well, one thing led to another, and before I knew what was happening, I found myself being investigated by the Senate Ethics committee."
"Those people will do anything other than attend to the peoples business. Just why would the Senate Ethics committee see the need to get involved?"
"That's what I'm asking myself. What business of their's it it? But they did get involved and I ended up being charged with violating campaign finance law and abetting the violation of lobbying restrictions and..."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa... I'm going to play a hunch and say that I'm talking to disgraced senator John Ensign."
"That's kind of a low blow, Rush. You didn't have to come right out and use the D word."
"You, sir, are a scumbag."
"I know I am, Rush. The whole world knows I am, but I wanted to give you an example of the sort of devious overreach that you were talking about. Just a few minutes ago, Ethics Chairwoman Bow Wow Boxer came out and pronounced me guilty."
"Hold it right there, you pathetic loser. The lady is a United States Senator and worthy of your respect."
"But Rush, you called her Bow Wow Boxer during your last segment."
"And yet at this moment, she is the honorable Senator Boxer."
"They shouldn't be doing this, Rush, I already resigned my position. What else am I supposed to do?"
"Allow me to suggest burning in Hell."
"That's cold, Rush. You're supposed to be sympathetic to me. It's the Democrats!........ They've sent my case to the Justice Department!"
"God! Who knows what Eric Holder will do! They could..."
"Oops, we seem to have lost that caller. Let's go to Kelly in Toledo. Go ahead, caller."

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