What's the use?

I was just in the midst of writing what may have been the funniest piece ever penned, when it suddenly occurred to me that I was wasting my precious time. It seems that I had totally forgotten about the pending end of the world. That's crazy, I know, it's not like forgetting a dental appointment. I'm sure all of you have been thinking about it quite a bit, but in my defense, it's not like I'm somehow going to miss it.   The way Harold Camping explains it, beginning at 6 PM tomorrow, around 3% of the world's population will be raptured, and I've got to admit that this is one time I'm really sorry to be in the majority. I say beginning at 6 PM because the way I understand it rolling time zones are involved, so the whole process will take around 24 hours. Get ready for some must see TV followed by five months of earthquakes, volcanoes and copious death. I'm pretty sure Camping's info is right, since he's only been wrong about the end of the world once before, which is a much better track record than I've got.   I'm off to he neighborhood pub after I post this. I'd like to think that I could spend as much of my filthy lucre as possible tonight buying rounds, but I suppose that will be difficult since everyone else will probably be doing the same thing. At any rate, I won't be drinking the cheap whiskey tonight.