Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Al Hudayda General Hospital



"Owww! Mohamedamnit! Ebn el sharmoota!"
"Dr Saleh! What on earth is the matter?"
"I just lost another accursed patient, Nurse Jasmeen. He blew right up, and his liver nearly put my eye out... At least I think that was his liver."
"Oh my, what an unsightly mess this one has created."
"Yes, I believe that my sterile work environment has been temporarily violated."
"Indeed it is so. I shall summon the orderly to restore it, but I fear that it shall be beyond usefulness for the rest of the day."
"Perhaps that is for the best. He is the fourth one I have lost today and it's not even time for afternoon prayers. It may be that I do not even have the requisite skills necessary for properly implanting explosives inside of the human abdomen."
"They say that practice makes perfect, and surely that is true. I have faith in you, Dr Saleh. You are the best al-Qaeda surgeon in all of Yemen."
"That is very kind of you to say, Nurse Jasmeen, although as you well know, I am the only al-Qaeda surgeon in all of Yemen... Leadership comes up with these brilliant ideas, but then it is up to us to figure out how to implement them. I believe they do not understand how very difficult it is to get a suicide bomber onto the operating table."
"Yes, they all say they are willing to die, just not in that manner."
"Tell me about it. After all, where is the glory in dying on the table? Somehow it just does not seem right to have to drug a suicide bomber... And then you have to worry that if the operation turns out to be a success, they will extract their vengeance on you instead of the infidels."
"Thus far, that has not been an issue you have had to face."
"Heh heh. True enough, although Omed's liver surely seemed as though it was seeking retribution. Does my eye appear swollen?"
"Oh yes. You will have a black eye for certain, Dr Saleh... I would suggest that you put a piece of liver on it, but you informed me that you have already tried that."
"Ha ha ha ha... Good one, Nurse Jasmeen."
"Thank you, doctor. I'm just glad it wasn't one of those explosive belly laughs."
"Bwahaha ha ha, hoo hoo hoo hoo!"
"I suppose that is something we won't be able to extract from Omed anymore."
"Wah ha ha ha, hee hee hee hee! Stop it, Nurse Jasmine, your jests are killing me!"
"That should grant you a little more empathy for your patients."
"Bwahaha ha ha, wah ha ha ha..."
"Sorry about that, doctor, but just like you, I do so love to finish with a bang."
"Hoo hoo hoo hoo... Good times, Nurse Jasmeen, good times."
"Good times, Dr Saleh."

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