Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Rodney Pawlenty strikes out again

"...and we're preparing now to talk live to former Governor Tim Pawlenty, one of the other candidates running for the Republican presidential nomination. Good evening, Governor."
"Good evening, Greta. Just out of curiosity, why did you call me one of the other candidates?"
"Nothing personal, Governor, but that's what you are. You have your serious candidates like Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, and Sarah Palin, and then a whole pack of others like you who are basically hoping lightning strikes."
"Sarah Palin isn't even running. I'd like to think that I'm at least as serious a contender as she is."
"I'm sure Thaddeus McCotter feels the same way."
"And you didn't even mention Mitt Romney, who's leading in most of the polls. Don't you consider him a serious candidate?"
"No. Let me ask you a pertinent question since you seem to be hung up on this whole idea of being taken seriously. Why don't I ever see you on TV? Don't you think that's important?"
"I've been on television quite a bit. I haven't been of FOX as much as I'd like, but I was on FOX News Sunday with Chris Wallace a couple of weeks ago. Did you see that?"
"No. It didn't look like a very interesting lineup, so I decided to watch professional bowling instead."
"You skipped me for bowling?"
"It was a championship roll-off. I want to ask about this new gimmick of yours. How did that come about?"
"What gimmick are you talking about Greta?"
"It's right up there on the screen, Governor. Try taking a look at your monitor."
"Taking aim at government employee unions? I'd hardly call that a gimmick. The rising cost of these unions is a very serious fiscal problem, particularly at the state level."
"But since you're running for a national office, I'd say that it's hardly relevant. Would you disagree?"
"Oh, absolutely. The president sets the mood for what happens in the states, and can affect..."
"I understand that you had a government shutdown in your state back when you were governor. You're from Minnesota, right? Same as Michele Bachmann."
"The same Minnesota. We had the government shutdown for nine days back in 2005. My new campaign ad talks about how I stood tough and won that battle. Would you like to show it?"
"No. You had a shutdown, back in 2005, when the nation was in a period of continuing economic prosperity. That must have been a huge embarrassment for you. Why do you even still want to talk about it?"
"I think that it is vital to what's going on nationally. If I were president I would allow the federal government to shut down before I increased the debt limit and continued this runaway spending."
"And if I were Queen of England, I would always have raspberry jam with my tea and scones. Thank you for being here 'On The Record', Governor, and good luck on your little adventure."
"Oh, are we out of time already?"
"No, but I'm bored."
"I wonder if I could just add that..."
"Oops, we seem to have lost our video feed. No biggie. Coming up, we've got Bristol Palin, who'll be talking about her new book 'Not Afraid of Life'. Stay tuned."

1 comment:

  1. There's a Marc Halperin on one of the Round Raoul Records you sent me way back when. It's not the same guy in the news lately, is it?