Monday, September 26, 2011

Mitt Meets The Donald

"Good afternoon, Mister Trump, it's great to finally get a chance to sit down and break bread with you... Mister Trump?.... Uh, are you okay?.... You... look upset."
"I was just looking at my watch, Governor Romney, and it had something very interesting to say. It said that the time was 2:07."
"And so it is, yes. My, that's a fine looking timepiece you're wearing. May I ask what is?"
"It's a friggin watch is what it is. And now it says 2:08, is what it says. You were supposed to be here at two-o'-clock sharp."
"Oh, right, but I was pretty close. We got to Trump Towers and realized that there really wasn't any back entrance, so we had to go across the street to the subway station and take the entrance in from there."
"Why didn't you simply take the front door?"
"Boy, that would have been a lot more convenient, but I kind of wanted to avoid any photo-ops."
"You wanted to avoid any photo-ops? Explain."
"Oh, you know. Walking into this opulent building with it's gold-plated awnings to meet with a megalomaniac... That's the sort of image I'm trying to avoid, the whole rich guy thing."
"Believe me, if I am forced by circumstances to get into the presidential race, a move which that would require me to disclose the financial reach of my empire, you would not need to worry about being referred to as the rich guy."
"I'm sure that's true, but the fact that..."
"We are drifting far afield from my original point, which is that you arrived at 2:07 for a 2:00 meeting. Promptness is a crucial component of leadership."
"Well, let's get to lunch. Say, I thought I heard that Sarah Palin was over an hour late to meet with you. True?"
"Sarah Palin is no leader."
"Good point. You had lunch with Michele Bachmann, too, didn't you? Was she on time?"
"She was early. That sort of over-eagerness is an unattractive trait in anyone seeking high office. And she has atrocious table manners."
"Okay, then, let's get on with this. I believe I understand the ground rules. We have lunch, you pontificate a while, and afterwards you say slightly less unkind things about me because now you can call me an associate."
"Good response. You demonstrate at least a minimal grasp of the dynamics. Plus, I reserve the right to later say that I have met all of the candidates and found them wanting, and then announce a third-party candidacy."
"Uh huh. Should I kiss your ring now or after lunch?"
"I would prefer now."
"Well, forget about it. That's not going to happen."
"Good answer. Rick Perry slobbered all over the damn thing... Come on, we can take the elevator to the garage if you don't want any photographs."

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