Monday, December 19, 2011

Jong no longer il

The axis of evil lost one of it's most prominent spokes today, as insane dictator Kim Jong-il finally made good on his pledge to one day shuffle off of this mortal coil and make room for another Jong. He is widely believed to have gone to a better place, as most locales are considered far superior to North Korea.
The man known to his face as Beloved Leader was able to maintain one of the world's largest active military by providing them with one of North Korea's rarest commodities, food, or as it is known throughout the country, edible gold.
According to legend, Kim Jong-il was born on February 16, 1942, atop of north Korea's highest peak, Mount Paektu. A magic swallow announced his birth and was promptly executed. Also too, a new star appeared in the sky and there was a rare double rainbow even though there wasn't a cloud in the sky.
Aside from his enormous military, Kim Jong-il will be most remembered as being the only nuclear armed insane dictator that was totally unable to terrify anyone other than his own subjects.
 The rare double rainbow reappeared today over Pyongyang in honor of the Beloved Leader's passing. He will not be missed.

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