Thursday, December 17, 2009

Divine Advice

Hello friends, I'm Dr. Bill Frist, heart surgeon and professor of 'Business and Medicine' at Vanderbilt University, but you might remember me as a tough but fair Senate Majority Leader. The last GOP majority leader, I might add, serving under the last white American president this country has ever had. They used to say that I was the only majority leader who could break your heart and fix it too, but that was before my own heart was broken by an American public that momentarily turned it's back against the Republican Party. But the good people of Tennessee didn't cast me from power, I walked away. And thank God for that, because it's no fun to be the Minority Leader. Look at Mitch McConnell, that burned out husk of a man, does he look like he's having fun?

As you might imagine, being a heart-surgeon/professor IS a lot of fun, but you've still got to put food on the table. That's why I'm also the chairman of the executive board at Cressey & Co, where we invest in high-potential segments of the U.S. healthcare market in order to enhance the performance and accelerate the growth of our portfolio companies. Granted, that's not nearly as much fun as being a heart-surgeon/professor, but it doesn't need to be because I really don't have to put in a lot of hours. No, I guess it's just fun for Cressey & Co to look at their org chart and be able to say that their Chairman of the Board is the former Senate Majority Leader.

The main thing I have to do at Cressey is give a speech now and then, like the one I gave in Philadelphia a couple of weeks ago. I told the Chamber of Commerce that the Senate will pass a health care bill of some sort or another. It's just inevitable. But I also told them not to fret about it, and to wear a secret smile upon their face. Why? Because this is one heck of a great time to invest in health care. Like I told them, there's "one trillion new dollars coming into financial markets with no sort of control whatsoever." Now that's what I call a golden opportunity. And the truth is, I've never like being accused of hyperbole, so I gave them a lowball figure. This bill is looking more messed up than even I could imagine, so I wouldn't be surprised to see it coming in with twice that dollar value.

I'll be back soon to suggest some exciting ways that you can benefit from the coming health care chaos, but right now I've got to get on back to Vanderbilt and perform a triple bypass on a liberal sociology professor. So until next time, I'm Dr Bill Frist, wishing you a happy heart and a healthy portfolio.

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