Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Karzai rejected

Afghanistan's insurgency today responded to recent remarks from Prime Minister Hamid Karzai, who had threatened that if the international community didn't stop pressuring him to get his government in order, he would join the Taliban.

"Well isn't that special," said Taliban spokesman Mohammad Mahsud, broadcasting from Radio Fazullah in Pakistan's Swat Valley. "I relayed Karzai's words to our great leader Mullah Omar, and I swear on Allah's name that the man almost smiled. Almost, it is true, and I could tell that it was an effort for him to suppress it. I myself broke into a broad grin upon seeing such a wild display of emotion, and it is just such a grin that I wear now as I repeat Mullah Omar's reply to Karzai's foolish pledge - thanks, but no thanks."

"This is a silly man who hides beneath a silly hat. We are rugged, dangerous men who are not afraid to die, and Hamid Karzai looks like a concierge from a Kabuli chicken restaurant. Seriously, does this man look like he has ever fired an ak-47 in his life? I believe that the only thing he has ever shot off was his mouth. I'm afraid the Taliban has certain standards, and one of those is to refuse membership to anyone who has aided infidels in killing us. Oh, and one more thing. What is that growing on Karzai's face? A beard like that would be laughed right out of the Taliban."

"I guess they've got a point with that aiding and abetting thing," said Karzai upon learning about his rejection. "Of course they forget that I supported the Taliban before the invasion, and then... things just got crazy, that's all, and I had some great opportunities come my way that anyone would have jumped at, and... oh well, I understand where they're coming from. But that remark about my beard was totally uncalled for."

1 comment: