Thursday, April 28, 2011

besieged on all sides

Yesterday, I was very very proud of myself because I had accomplished something that nobody else had been able to accomplish. Of course that's not the first time I've ever been able to accomplish something that nobody else has been able to, not by a long shot. That's why I'm so full of pride. I've earned the right to gloat a little, okay? Okay? If you ever accomplish half as much - a tenth as much - as me, then you can gloat a little too, but until then don't try to deprive me of the privilege.
But there's these people, these little people - parasites, I like to call them - who like to get in your face and try to suck all of the joy out of life, and they make me sick. Physically ill, just nauseous. And these little people have been in my face for the last twenty-four hours and I'm here to tell them back off parasites. Nobody sucks the joy out of Donald Trump. Nobody.
That includes you, Robert Gibbs, you talentless hack. Do you even have a job? Obama fired you. That must make you feel real good, huh, being fired by a man who has the singular lack of class to call Donald Trump a carnival barker. Real classy, huh? And you weren't good enough for him. You dare say 'Donald Trump said he'd release his tax returns as soon as the president released his birth certificate, so the ball is in his court now, and I know everybody is anxious to see his tax returns over the last 10 years'. You dare say that to me? I said I might release my tax records when Obama released his birth certificate. Might, get it, might. I just bet a sore loser like you would like to see me release my tax records. Well, you will see them and you will be very impressed and very envious but you will see them at a time and place of my choosing and until then back the hell off.
I'll tell you who else needs to back the hell off, that insufferable little twerp Rand Paul. You're only famous because of your father, kid, if it weren't for him you'd be a nobody. Nobody, get it, nobody. Donald Trump didn't get where he is today because of his daddy, it's all hard work and intelligence. I'm watching FOX News this morning, trying to relax a little after a hard day in which I accomplished something that nobody else has been able to do, and I see this loser Rand Paul come on at some little breakfast meeting - It's not even a rally, it's that pathetic - and he says he wants to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump's Republican registration, because, I suppose, in his insignificant opinion, I'm not a real Republican. He says he's not going to believe it until he sees the embossed seal to my Republican registration. These are not the words of an educated man. He does not sound like an educated man. Donald Trump is an educated man and I'm here to tell you I know that there isn't an embossed seal on my Republican registration so back the hell off.
Rand Paul is not the only idiot I saw on FOX News either, I am very sad to say. I'm watching the O'Reilly show last night and Krauthammer was on, and I'm like okay, I know they're going to be talking about me. And I'm expecting good things because of my extraordinary accomplishment that day. Plus I figure Krauthammer owes me. A few days ago he did something totally uncalled for. He said Donald Trump was the Al Sharpton of the right. How was I supposed to react? Wrong. I was very civil. I called the man up and had a nice conversation. Very civil. I figured sometimes he gets out of sorts because he's a cripple, he has to be wheeled around, I figure I can make an allowance for one nonsensical outburst. Sure enough, they get to Donald Trump - topic one - but instead of talking about my unbelievable accomplishment, Krauthammer starts talking about my so-called 'nutty' ideas. He has the unmitigated gall to say that my ideas sound like the 'kind of stuff you expect at a guy at a bar in closing time with slurred speech'. That isn't even grammatical. What a sad, pathetic man, the sort of parasite who talks about me in the vain hope some of my fame will rub off on him. The sort of bars I go to are very refined and Krauthammer can't even go to a bar unless someone wheels him so my advice would be for him is shut your uneducated mouth and back the hell off.

1 comment:

  1. Nobody understands The Donald, which is what he wants and what he doesn't want. I get it, except I don't. (How could I without having accomplished all that he has accomplished, even in just this day?)