Sunday with Donald

Donald Trump today extended his moment of being taken seriously by people who should know better, appearing on CNN's 'State of the Union' where he told host Candy Crowley that he would convince OPEC to lower prices through the sheer power of his will. (A move that would be unnecessary if was already president since his stated objective would have been to invade Libya and take their oil.)   "We need one thing," he explained. "Brainpower. Frankly I'm the only one running for president who has the sort of intellectual firepower to be able to go to the Middle East and bring home the bacon. Most of those guys over there don't even eat bacon so there's no good reason for them not to give it to me at whatever price I demand. And they should be happy that I was willing to take it, because if I was to start an oil company, they be out of business in a heartbeat."   Later in the show, Trump gratuitously ridiculed Mitt Romney by calling him a 'small businessman' who had never created a mighty empire like he had. "He was a funds guy. He walked away with some money from a very good company that he didn't create. He worked there. He didn't create it." Having thoroughly exhausted the Mitt topic, Trump then returned to his own unbelievably massive holdings, saying that if he were to grace us with his candidacy, everyone would then see "how big my company is, because it's much bigger and much more powerful and much stronger than anyone really knows."   Crowley was largely unmoved by Trumps braggadocio, but did appear taken aback at one point when Trump claimed to have 'John Dillinger's enormous dong'. "You look at me funny when I say that and I can tell exactly what you're thinking. Exactly. It's a skill that I learned as a businessman and one completely absent in President Obama. To be fair, it's also lacking in everybody who's thinking about running against him as well, so it's not like he's been at a disadvantage. Up until now. But to answer your question, what you're thinking is 'Is Donald Trump saying that he's hung like John Dillinger?' My answer is no, I am not. Frankly I'm a lot better endowed than that. A lot better. What I mean is that I own Dillinger's enormous dong. I bought it from the Smithsonian and of course it's in a glass of formaldehyde on my coffee table. It's the biggest and best conversation piece in New York City."