Wednesday, August 10, 2011

King of All Peters

Republican House Chair of the Homeland Security Peter King sat down with the Sunday papers this weekend and was stunned by what he found inside - an attempt by Hollywood liberals to possibly portray Barack Obama in a positive light.
King read in horror about the left-wing director Kathryn Bigelow, Oscar winner for 'The Hurt Locker', and her plot to release a movie about the killing of Osama bin Laden mere weeks before the 2012 presidential election. He knew at once the frightening implication - the Obama administration was obviously passing along highly classified information about the nation's most sensitive military operations.
"You bet your boots this calls for a big-time investigation, and I'm just the guy to lead it" said the angry congressman. "There is wrongdoing afoot here - my scrutinizing senses are tingling like a pocket rocket.
"I was right in the middle of my investigation into New York Times subversive Maureen Dowd when I stumbled onto her shocking story about possible wrong-doing by the president," revealed the Peter King. "These people, these left-wing so-called journalists, they don't think that a real conservative is going to pay attention to the sort of propaganda they write, but they don't realize that some of us are ever vigilant, even on Sunday mornings. Dowd made the amateurish mistake of revealing in print Obama's nefarious plot to pump up his bonafides right before a national election. This film is an attempt to make him look decisive and competent, and that is not an option that the American people can afford to take lightly."
"It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to find that they intend to have someone like Will Smith, someone the public has come to love and trust, play the part of Obama. And I'll bet that Joe Biden will be played by Harrison Ford. Insidious, yes, but that wouldn't surprise me one iota. These are people that have no sense of shame."

1 comment:

  1. Mark, you have the uncanny ability to take snark to whole new levels. Bravo.

    But who could possibly play Peter?
    Probably Phillip Seymour Hoffman; but my money will be on Daniel DeVito.