Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Rudy strikes out

"OWWWWW! My balls! Ahrooo! Oh, Jesus, that's a pain that's going to linger."
"Mr Giuliani, are you okay?"
"Could be better, little Suzie. Do you know if we have any scotch in the first aid kit?"
"I don't think so... Neosporin... Band-aids... Heart defibrillator... Aspirin... No, no scotch. I'm sorry, Mr Giuliani, I threw the ball pretty slowly... I was trying to hit your bat, just like you said."
"Well, you hit my bat, alright. Struck it right out."
"I'm sorry... But it's only a wiffle ball..."
"I know, but it still stung like a sonofabitch... I guess it's about time that I finally hung up my dream of playing third base with the New York Yankees."
"I don't know what to say."
"There's not a lot that you can say. It's tough to watch a dream die. Believe me, I know that better than anyone. Four years ago I had to give up my dream of being president..."
"That must have been really tough. But it was probably a good decision. You didn't have any delegates."
"Delegates, shmelegates... Then I had to give up my dream of being governor of New York..."
"I thought you told me that was a business decision. You never even declared."
"Yeah, but I would have made a heck of a governor. And now... I guess... it's time for me to give up my dream of jumping in this year at the last moment and capturing the Republican nomination. Once again... Sad, isn't it?"
"A little bit sad. For you, anyway. And for me. I don't guess this would be a good time for me to ask for a raise, would it?"
"No, Suzan. It would not."
"It's never a good time for you is it, you old fart."
"What's that, Suzan? You know I have trouble understanding you when you mumble."
"I said, maybe later when the economy picks up."
"Right, just like I told you last year. Now come on, throw me a couple more balls and we'll get back to the office. Hey, would you like to try a few pitches with the hardball?"
"You bet I would."


  1. Come onnnnn.

    You know I'd never play ball with that twerp.


  2. I spelled it that way just for you.

  3. compared to Bloomberg, the latest bag of NY ca ca, Giuliani doesn't stink quite as much