Czar Wars

Looking at all possible avenues to marginalize President Obama on their journey towards a Utopian 2012, Rep. Steve Scalise has come up with an exciting tactic that just might work. This week the Louisiana Republican introduced legislation that would get rid of all of Obama's 'czars' by defunding their offices.   "The sad fact is that no matter how hard we fight and vote against the President's agenda, there are still a lot of things that he can do through administrative orders, rewriting regulations, and so forth," said Scalise. "And it's these czars, or as Obama euphemistically calls them 'policy advisers', who make it possible for him to bypass the House's will. We can't legally fire the czars, so I say what the hey, let's just starve them out. Oh god, that's so cool. Obama will be at a friggin standstill, and GOP heaven will be visible on the horizon."   The only pothole on Scalise's road to glory is the fact that there is nobody who's officially designated as a czar, nor any definition of what the job description would be for one, seeing as how it's just a term the media uses so that they can say 'TARP czar' instead of the much more boring  'United States Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Financial Stability'.   "I think we can all tell exactly who the czars are, definitions or not," sneered Scalise. "They're all the folks up there whispering in the president's ear that the Senate didn't get to vote on. It's a simple matter of transparency mumble mumble.  I tell you, I used to like me some czars back when President Bush called them that, cause you knew then the word was ironic, but with a Socialist in office, I don't think you can assume that anymore. I'm speaking for all the Republicans in the House who think Bush didn't need any czars either, we just didn't see the harm in it at the time. But that's the problem with presidential overreach; you let one guy established a precedent without taking into consideration what type of lunatic might win in the next election."   "In no way should this vote to defund be seen as some type of radical action by the House. Hell, we're only half of Congress, and if we dump the czars, the president's free to renominate them for confirmation by the Senate... if and when they feel like it. The House doesn't even get to vote, so I don't really have a dog in this fight other that the fact that I hate Obama and want to do anything in my power to help cripple him."