Friday, April 9, 2010

The ladies love him

Sure, International opinion has turned against him, and American politicians of all stripes are coming to view him as an unreliable crackpot, but Hamid Karzai is not without his charms. In fact, he's developed a surprising new group of fans - lady wingnuts.

"Karzai, whose support we need if we are going to succeed in Afghanistan, is being treated to an especially dangerous and juvenile display from this White House," Liz Cheney told the Southern Republican Leadership Conference. "They dress him down publicly almost daily and refuse to even say that he is an ally. That bully Obama is downright mean to the man, publicly humiliating, publicly demeaning. My heart goes out to him. I'm by no means saying that he's perfect, but we need him."

"She needs me," cooed Karzai in his very best Barry White impression. "But would she, such a whole lotta, woman know what to do with me if she had me? Hamid Karzai is a lot to handle, and too much of anything is not good for you, baby."

Sarah Palin has also joined the Karzai Admiration Society, and was so impressed by Liz Cheney's words that she decide to repeat them to the same crowd. "In foreign policy now we’ve got the makings of the Obama doctrine, which is coddling enemies, much as I'd like Hamid to coddle me, and alienating allies. They treated the Afghan president poorly and then they feigned surprise when he reacted in kind. I say, Leave Hamid alone! Isn't that bully Obama being just downright mean to the man, publicly humiliating him and publicly demeaning him? You betcha he is. My heart just goes out to him like a mama grizzly bear - Hamid, not Obama. I get the fact that there's no such thing as a perfect man, but we need this guy."

"Ooh, love to love you, baby," crooned the Afghani love machine, "maybe I'll get comfortable and take off my hat. I wanna see you the way you came into the world, I don't wanna feel no clothes, I don't wanna see no panties, and take off that brassiere, my dear, everybody's gone."

Ironically, everyone was not gone.

"Hey, is it too late to get in on this action?" cried Michelle Bachmann. Ironically, it was.


  1. I like a man who finds a hat that suits him and sticks with it. he's loyal to his hat, I admire that.

  2. I've seen him with other hats...